I have long aspired to be a regular blogger. I know, lofty ambitions right, who doesn't want to grow up and be a blogger? No, really, I have actually wanted to write regularly since the popularization of this "interweb" thingy. I have made several attempts on other websites. Oh, I am not looking for recognition, nor do I naively think that this will somehow lead to a paying gig, I just want an out for some of my many meandering thoughts. I have included some of my favorite personal blogs on this blog site. Here is my problem, I'm sure you can identify... motivation.
To put it quite simply, I don't frequently have this uncontrollable, urge to write. Instead, they could best be described as passing inclinations. However I enjoy writing, it entertains me, and I find the more I do it, the more inspired I am to read more, have more challenging discussions, and thus write more.
Concentrating is also something of an issue. As I type, my 9 month old is playing with a music stand toy, with a piano, guitar and microphone all attached. There are screaming guitar licks, random piano runs, and syncopated stomp/clap rhythms, in no way timed with each other I might add. My 2 1/2 year old is sitting as close as she can to me, watching Toy Story 3, clutching her Jessie doll, and then narrating for me what the 9 month old is doing, then in the same breath narrating, or quoting the movie, making for some interesting sentences. Not to mention the ADD, oh yeah, it's not just the title of my blog page, it's what I deal with on a daily basis. Actually I forget I have it, other people remind me "uh, hey, Ash, your day-dreaming again." Past students of mine used to try to see how far they could get me to rabbit trail during lessons, for this reason, I can be caught drinking a Monster before headed to the school. I self medicate through caffeine, which is a tool that has proven to be quite effective for me since I quit taking Ritalin and Adderall in high school. Okay, I already hear back lash on two sides for that previous sentence. The first being for my consumption of an energy drink on a regular basis, save your rebukes, I've heard the arguments, this is my I don't care face :-I. The second are the people who are fervently against the use of stimulants on children and think ADD is over diagnosed, and blah, blah blah, blah blah, heard all those arguments too. The fact of the matter is I performed WAY better with the medication in school, I never suffered withdrawals, or exhibited any signs of addiction, and as an adult I can monitor what works and what doesn't for myself, and I'm telling you I focus better and can get the job done quicker with a can of Monster.
Now what was I writing about before the "I can't concentrate" statement melted into my "save your ridicule" tirade? Oh yeah my writing a blog. Even as I sit here I have difficulty finding thoughts on a "first blog" the credits are now rolling on the Toy Story 3, my palate is telling me that if I were Campbell's, I would have added some brown sugar to that Ham and Bean soup that I shared with my daughter. Facebook keeps getting high-lighted telling me of another notification, and the falling snow keeps grabbing my attention.
I suppose that when one is experiencing writers block, it is probably not the best moment to start a project in a venue designed for writers... however I decided to take a "carpe diem" approach to this, I don't feel like I've seized very much... maybe I'll make a pot of coffee and take a second run at this after the kids are both napping.
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